Alcohol and Drugs Only drink
Grand Marnier, and that's to keep the throat from drying up in a place where
there's a lot of smoke. As for drugs: a big NO!
Food Eat anytime, anything you
can get your hands on. I mean it!
Health Whenever you get to
feeling weird, take Bayer aspirin. I can't stand taking all that other
Money Always take a lawyer
with you, and then bring another lawyer to watch him.
Defense I can't go around
slapping people with my hands or else I'd go broke. So I take karate, and kick
when I fight. Of course, I got plenty of guns - one real big one. But guns are
for people trying to take your home, not some guy who makes you mad. I used to
be a sheriff down in New Mexico for two and a half years, so I know not to
pull it right away.
Cows If they wanna play, and
you don't wanna make pets out of 'em, and you can't eat 'em - then get rid of
Women If you wanna meet a nice
young lady, then you try to smell your best. A girl don't like nobody walking
up in her face smelling like a goat. Then, you don't say crap like "Hey, don't
I know you?" The first thing you ask her is: "Are you alone?" If she tells you
that she's with her boyfriend, then you see if the cat's as big as you. If you
don't have no money, just smell right. And for God's sake don't be pulling on
her and slapping on her. You don't hit the girls! If you do this, you can't